Happy Holidays

Hi everyone! Happy Holidays. Sam and Austin bought me a new toy for Christmas: Cat Attack - Remote Control Cat Exerciser Cat Toy.

That is a misnomer. He should be called Mr. Agrogg - Motorized Demonic Anglerfish Cat Tormentor.

At first, Mr. Agrogg is quite alluring as he lazilly swings his antenna around and around in a random fashion. I get curious about the fluffy green grape dancing at its end, so I approach and paw.

Then, Mr. Agrogg springs his trap and unleashes an ear-piercing scream that sounds like a really, really, really loud electric can opener. He scampers around wildly in circles, blindly bumping around the room drunk with rage.

His primal war cry ceases only when he stops chasing me. Resuming his earlier quiet repose, Mr. Agrogg serenely casts his lure about. I escape phsycially intact, but the damage is done, he has scared the poo out of me.

Chillin' Out

In the kitchen, near my food bowl, there is this big white box with a door on it. I see Austin and Sam opening and shutting it all day long. Naturally, as a cat, I became curious and decided to investigate.

While Austin was removing some items from within the contraption, I leapt at the opportunity and made my way inside. It was cool! Get it? AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

When the door was open, the "fridge" was essentially a cold room that stores ketchup, eggs, water and Schuman Farms Head of Lettuce. But, when Austin closed the door, there was a building or something with flames coming out of it, and there were creatures writhing around, and they were growling and snarling. And there were flames, and I heard a voice say "Zuul"! It was right there.

Model Kitty

This afternoon, our friend Courtney came over to take some photos for Sam's bespoke clothes company. Because I am so irresistably cute, Courtney snapped some pictures of me as well. Who can blame her?

As you can see, i make the photographer's job pretty easy: get my face in the frame and then snap the picture. I would actually go and audtion for America's Next Top Model, but Tyra Banks is so annoying, she makes me want to claw my kitty ears off.

Working with inferior talent.

My Sam's breath smells like Sam food.

All photos are the copyrighted works of Lens CAP Productions. They will sue your pants off if you steal them. And, I will claw you.

Baby Pix

I found some pictures of myself that were taken on the first day I arrived at Sam's and Austin's apartment. Enjoy!

I'm so cute, it hurts.

I'm so cute, it hurts.

Torture

This morning, Samantha brought me into the bathroom. At first, I thought she was going to go poop or something and just wanted company. But, then she started running the bathtub... and, her t-shirt and bathing suit bottom outfit suddenly made more sense.

 

I got a good shampooing for what seemed like hours. I kept trying to jump out of the tub and run away. Of course, the door was closed so, even if I had managed to leap out of the bathtub, I was totally screwed. I finally resigned myself to my fate and just sucked it up.

 

While I was shivering, Austin came in with an ear-to-ear grin. He jammed his camera phone into my face and snapped the following pictures. Sam finally took me out and dried me off with a towel and blow dryer.

Austin's crappy camera phone capturing the moment.

Damn you all.